Friday, May 4, 2012

What Is Now Growing As Popular In America...

We should begin with the rapidly changing face of small business in the growing world of franchises. As we work harder, faster and longer each day to work our way out of the ever widening American economic recession, we hear the happy thoughts of the Washington wobble heads, and their media minions at NBC and the other alphabet networks of the Main Stream Media telling us "its over", and we should appreciate the new prosperity. So I thought today I would focus on what is prospering and succeeding in this new decay.

For instance, two of Americas fastest growing franchises are popping up on every street corner with ever larger shiny new signs, evidently competing with each other, and growing for the last several years at an unprecedented pace. You may not be the kind that goes to these places, but hopefully the day is coming when you can afford them like we all used to be able to afford Starbucks Coffee.

The first two franchise groups appear to be real estate related. They are the "Available" Group and the "For Lease" places. Geez, I must see an average of at least three to five new locations a day in our city. We point them out to each other as we drive by them - like we used to call Volkswagen Beetles when we were kids - its a game.

Another next two franchise groups that have been growing like crazy are "Title Loans" and "Pawn Shops". Whoever is selling these franchises has to be making a killing at the rate their growing. (And I guess if its not a killing, they must at least be breaking a leg or two...) Kinda reminds me of the nostalgic pictures of communist countries, back when our country was free from it all.

The next fastest growing franchise group must be the portable roadside donut shops of some sort. I am not sure what it is called, or what its about yet, because every time I go by, you can't get near for all the traffic, but the next time I go past the same place, the whole group is gone. In fact the only way I know it has to be a donut shop is that there are always at least 2-4 police cars with their lights flashing and only 1 usually, or a maximum of 2 other cars there. Sometimes I have seen as many as 6-7 police cars all with their lights flashing - can be day or night, so you can mistake it for a traffic stop or traffic accident - but why the heck would you need that many police for ....

Come to think of it, I think the next fastest growing enterprise in America must be 'Policing'. It turns out now that if someone so much as litters a cigarette butt out their car window, they are not only pulled over to be charged with littering, but are given everything up to and/or including a cavity search, while the hero arresting officer invites all of his shift buddies, and those off duty - all driving a tax bought Police car to witness his or her heroics on the side of the road. This is where I believe these roadside portable donut shops must show up because it always seems to take up to 2 hours to write up the littering charge, and complete the rest of the perpetrators bio, and ever growing police record.

Which leads to another massively growing franchise: "Jails". These publicly supported enterprises are one of the fastest growing franchises in America - run by Sheriffs on a profitable basis - funded from State coffers, the only thing these new bastions of technology are missing is new perps to put in their cells. New jails are on average more than twice the size of their predecessors, and while old statistics demonstrate that America incarcerates (puts in jail) seven times as many people as the next leading "civilized" country in the world, I am betting that the profits these jails are making for their Sheriff entrepreneurs at approximately $ 200./perp for an average 6 hour stay - makes this enterprise far more profitable than a high priced hooker - some of their favorite friends. As such I bet we can make it to 10 times as many average inmates as any other first world country within the next few short years. And the bonus is that while their innocent and abused residents are made criminals by their system for unpaid child support, vagrancy, and other unpaid debts (traditionally known as 'debtors prison' in third world nations), and are therefore unemployable and generally incapable of maintaining a credit score, or worthy of managing credit, the good news is that an ever growing portion of America can now have 3 square meals and a bed at the public expense, and no longer show up on the unemployment roles, helping the President of this illustrious nation brag on a declining percentage of people that are 'out of work'. You gotta love our growing "just us" system under the leadership of its "Holder".

Luckily, in our community, the ever growing policing franchise is able to get out a lot more to help their visibility, discourage the people, and grow their crime rate. In the last week alone in our community - I have observed the forces of policing spending hours running fundraisers by serving in uniform in restaurants, and blocking up the streets as they hold a 'Run for Law Enforcement' extravaganza with police men and women (and both of their friends) running through the streets, accompanied for blocks with light flashing police cars, and cops on motorcycles riding along to stop productive traffic, and overriding traffic lights at every intersection. How can you miss a sight like that? And with all the funds going to: The Police!

I only wish I had found the time to accompany them to the end of the run - with all those police car lights, and hundreds of new police officers all gathered around what must have been several of those portable roadside donut shops...

Well I hardly think we should go on much further. Any more fast growing franchises like these will make us a third world nation as well, and we hardly want to encourage this kind of growth. I think I will vote for some hope and change this fall; What about you?

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