Thursday, July 31, 2014

The New IRS Standards

IRS's John Koskinen says there are no more emails. Lois Lerner pleads the 5th. They lie, they cheat, they claim rights they have no right to. They claim to collect taxes by law, but in fact make up most of it on their own without a Congressional mandate, oversight, or even involvement. The IRS is out of control. They need to be shut down, but in reality, they are no longer America's funding source anyway - the print shop in the Federal Reserve's basement is where the only money that matters comes from.

So why do you keep serving the Washington alcoholics more to drink? Stop funding them. Why do you continue to file tax returns anyway?

There are only 3 reasons to file a personal tax return in America today, and none of them are legitimate any longer. Remember we file voluntarily if we do, and every return serves as the basis for the IRS and the greater federal government to indict you. Moreover, almost every time you file, you are admitting to breaking laws whether you know it or not.

The 3 reasons people file tax returns:

1. Get refunds. (Only because you are telling them to tax you too much in the first place. Increase your deductions rate to 9 as a married person on your W4, and unless you gross millions, you will only pay Social Security and Medicare - a reasonable tax level for roads, and a military.... and you have no reason to file a return.

2. Get other government benefits - like Obamacare (do you qualify?) If you are a participant on the public tit, you are not likely interested in this story anyway. Quit the dependency, and you will quit the need to pay.

3. To give a tax return to the bank when you want a loan or a mortgage. Quit borrowing. Pay cash, and you will find that by getting rid of the tax man you have more than enough to live on, and buy the things you wanted to borrow for anyway. Besides there are plenty of non-bank lenders out there now that will lend you for specific purposes including buying a car, furniture, and even private mortgages if you put enough down -that don't require a tax return like a bank. The banks have simply become extensions of the government under Dodd-Frank anyway. Minimize your involvement with them.

If you haven't figured it out by now, your goal should be to get to the point you never need to file a tax return because there is nothing in it for you to file.

Remember, the IRS does NOTHING for you, and you should not do anything for them. They lie, cheat, and make up their own rules to completely disadvantage you. They work for complete crooks that are spending on average $ 3,000. per year more of your money than they would even have the legal right to collect if they had a legitimate moral authority to still collect anything at all. And most importantly, your taxes don't matter, because if you don't pay anything, they will just print more in the basement in Washington.

So given the new IRS standards, what are yours?

Be wise.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

The Flat Tax Versus The Buxom IRS ...Give It Some Time

Another unpublished old draft from 2009, I just laughed at, and decided needed to be let loose....

So I was a kid in high school and we'd spend time in 'PE' - the short title for my less than favorite class of 'Physical Education'. We were big on short titles. Three letters for three words. We even had three of those three letter TV networks that were short for really long names back then. We used to give people short nick names too like 'PJ' or 'CT' and so on.

So when we were waiting for our turn to play tennis at our PE class, we had to wait for the girls to finish playing first. We were gathered outside the back fence at the court watching skinny Maxine playing buxom Bobbi. Now we happened to be at the same end of the court as buxom Bobbi who happened to have a penchant for low cut V Necks, and as a bunch of teenage boys, we decided we were missing all of the real action while only watching the back of Bobbi, and the front of flat Maxi while Maxi was earning all the points, so we had to move around the side to the end of the net at center court where we could see all the action.

Well its more than 30 years later, and everyone's world has changed. We've all gained a little weight and those girls have had a few offspring, and I have noticed a thing or two about the effects of time on beauty. Given what I know today, I'd have been a lot more enamored with Miss Max if I knew then what I know now.

Whenever I hear reference to a 'Flat Tax' these days, I don't think the word 'flat' has much appeal, until I begin to think about our bountiful IRS - the buxom IRS - that beautiful and benevolent IRS, and those bevy of beautiful benefits that are busting out of it's V Neck, except that with time - our buxom IRS has become a typical civil service 'babe' with a really wide chair, a turtle neck sweater, and all of the bevy has fallen 1-2 feet lower into the bulging belly and butt of a really gross bulbous bag of bad attitude - bitchin' at the world about everything including their job. God alone knows what shes sitting on, but whatever it is - it isn't going to live.

Now in that same period that flat Max has had children which in turn filled her out beautifully, and she has gone on to become the belle of the ball in every way.

The moral of the story is - it may take a few years to really appreciate the well rounded benefits of a flat tax, but I already prefer it to the bulging behemoth that has become the IRS.

Maybe Neal Boortz and John Lander were right to call their proposal the 'Fair Tax'. She may not have a tan yet, but I think I'd prefer the results when the sun sets.

The Monopolistic Morass of More Asses With More Ass

Government bureaucracies are generally made up of two groups of people. The 'Temporarys' and the 'Permanents'. Without specific detail, generally the Temporarys fall in the category of being young, vibrant, beautiful, energetic, etc.

Generally hired by male bosses under the age of 45, temporarys are generally women, who know how to reveal a little cleavage, and have an agenda. Both they and their bosses are temporary because before long one - or both - is going to cross a line and/or simply become 'tired of the game' and move on.

Then there are the permanents. You've met them at the DMV, the post office, the social security office. They are generally sitting on something - presumably a stool, except that you can't see it, or a really wide well worn chair. Often thick rimmed glasses, and/or an enormous amount of make-up (a la Tammy Faye Bakker), and a voice like a drain snake.

Generally these people have attitude. I would refer to this average bureaucrat as having the attitude of an 'ass'. (Which demonstrates complete disrespect for the stubborn form of donkey specifcally referred to as a 'Jackass' or Ass for short - from which this attitude reference derives...)

This however is confusing, because if there is anything particularly noteworthy about these people physically, it is what they are sitting on - which is also an 'ass'. In reality, the confusion derives from the fact that these appear to be two ass people - one physical, and one attitudinal.

And so it is that I would have to describe a bureaucrat as having 'More Ass' than an average human.

But it is more complex than this. You see, generally we can refer to anyone with the attitude of a Jackass (Donkey) as derogatorily being an Ass. Which means that we would be referring to a group of these people with this bad attitude as a bunch of asses. But it is my contention, that because the temporary bureaucrats move on (before they develop these very large physical asses), the only ones that remain in mass are the asses. Ie. there are more asses with more ass.

Which brings us to the final observation of government bureaucrats. Their inability to complete (not 'compete' ...LOL!) productively, effectively, or competitively on ANYTHING. This is what I would call a black hole, a waste patch, or a morass. Thats right - there it is again!! Morass.

And that is the summary of government anything - a great morass of more asses with more ass.

So what would you call it?